oO wtf
by Akari Van Halen
Summary: This is the first RENT fic I've done in less than a year. And hilarity ensues. Read and review for maximum awesomeness.


o.O (wtf)

A/N: MAN it's been almost a YEAR since I've posted anything! But I finally got around to writing something yay! I'm back…well, without a vengeance, but there's some collateral…enjoy!

Disclaimer: HA HA! You don't own the characters or the rights—wait. Neither do I. Darn.

It was raining one afternoon. Everyone was at Roger, Mark, and Mimi's loft because—well, they felt like it. The radio was on and playing "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls. (Whatever would we do without those one-hit wonders?)

Maureen: I wonder what'd really happen if it were raining men. Like right now.

Mark: It'd obviously be depressing. Unless they had parachutes. Otherwise, splat! SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT!

Maureen: -is disgusted- Lovely.

--Mark sticks out his tongue--

Roger: Argh…I'm BORED!

Mimi: Sing us a song!

Roger: But—I'm still writing one great—

Mimi: DO IT!

Roger: -in the manner of a whiny child- oh FINE! -He takes out his guitar and strikes one chord-

Mimi: It sucks. Never mind.

Roger: We'll see about that…

Mark: Ooh! Let's play a game!

Angel: What game?

Mark: Hold on, I'll get it.

--One moment later he comes back with seven glasses of water--

One of these glasses has a dissolved sleeping pill. Whoever gets the glass gets a six-hour nap.

Joanne: This is stupid.

Maureen: Ugh. I hope you get the glass.

Joanne: Hey!

--All drink--

Mark: Anyone getting…sleepy?

--Mark collapses--

Angel: OH MY GOD MARK IS DEAD! I knew the water was bad! I KNEW it!

Collins: Wait, he's not dead, he's…

Mark: zzzzzzzzz…….

Roger: Ohmygod. Hahaha he lost his own game, or won, or something…

Collins: Was that a sleeping pill or a Godforsaken HORSE tranquilizer?

Roger: I dunno.

Angel: Ooh! New game! New game!

Mimi: What?

Angel: Let's play dress-up with him!

Everyone else: Mrr?

Mark: zzzzzz……?

Angel: -takes out huge random bag- Yes, we'll dress him in these extra clothes I have.

Collins: So _that's_ what that bag's for.

Mimi: Well, there's nothing else better to do, so let's get crack-a-lackin'!

And crack-a-lackin' they did get, starting with undressing him and…

Hey you!

Yeah, you!

GET your mind outta the gutter!

…and put him in the clothing, then he got his nails and his hurr did, then put on the make-up and glitter (Glitter! -heart-), and completed it with a dainty bow on his head.

Angel: Almost done!

Joanne: What more is there to do?

Angel: We need to give him a name.

Collins: A name?

Angel: Yes, a name! Every good drag queen needs a name. Except me. Mine was already awesome.

Roger: What do we name him?

Mimi: This is harder than I thought…

Maureen: Sparkles Fantastic?

Everyone else: …..

Maureen: I haven't said anything in a while!

Mimi: Hmmm….

Collins: I think she's got something!

Mimi: Mark…Mark…uh, Markina!

Collins: Markina?

Angel: Perfect! Let's take a picture!

Collins: -takes out camera- Say cheese, Markina!

Mark(ina): zzzzz…..

--One moment later, everyone looks at the Polaroid picture--

Everyone but Mark(ina): HAHAHAHAHA!

Mimi: Oh crap! We've got like an hour to fix him! Let's get bizzay!

Roger: You've been saying some really random stuff.

Angel pressed the bottom of the picture against Mark(ina)'s lips to make a lipstick print, wrote "Markina" on the bottom, and then cleaned off the make-up. Everyone did their part and within a half-hour, he was back to normal Mark, give or take the occasional glitter piece or two on his face. He woke up in a daze, with everyone else standing over him.

Mark: Am I dying?

Maureen: No baby, you were just asleep…for a really long time.

Mark: What happened? How long was I asleep?

Maureen: About six hours.

Collins: And don't worry; nothing happened, Mark -COUGH- INA! -COUGH-

Everyone else: -giggles-

Mark: Huh?

Roger: It's nothing. -to the rest- Guys?

Mimi: C'mon, Mark! Let's do karaoke!

Mark: I dunno, my equilibrium's off…

Joanne: Screw you guys. Collins, Angel, join us! We'll get potatoes! Delicious potatoes!

Maureen: Fresh from Idaho!

Collins and Angel: UDAHO! (A/N: sorry, I've always wanted to use that)

And off they went.

Roger: Hey, how come we didn't do karaoke before?

Mimi: Meh…

Mark: I'll be right back.

He went into the bathroom and found the picture taped to the mirror. He took a closer look.

Mark: Hey, this Markina's pretty hot…

Wait.

AAAAAHHHH!

Roger: We've GOTTA do this again sometime.

Mimi: -laughs- I agree.

And that's the end. The moral is: sleeping pill games are bad. Oh—and potatoes are delicious. Eat them sometime! They're spud-tastic!

--end--


End file.
